This is how I met your mother
by Swiftie97
Summary: Set just after the end of season six, Lily has just told Marshall that she's pregnant, and Ted is having a crisis of his own... but can they work together to unravel the truth from each other, or will the lies just keep on building?
1. Chapter 1

Now kids, there comes a stage in your life where you start to realise that you need to grow up, I was into my thirties, and I was still acting like a twenty five year old, but that was all about to change, you see kids, your aunt Lily had just heard some amazing news… well I say heard… but to be truth full… she pee'd on a stick… but it was the best moment of your aunt Lily's life…

I wander into the living room of your aunt Lily and uncle Marshall's apartment, they were sat together, hugging on the sofa.

"Heya Guys! You two ok?"

Lily smiled, her whole face shone in the dimly lit apartment "Yeah, we're definitely ok… you see…"

Marshall cut her off "I found a five dollar bill down the back of the sofa, it was awesome… I thought I'd lost it forever… so…"

"Ok…" I mumble, I turn into the kitchen "Ooh pancakes…"

Now kids… I didn't hear the next part of the conversation, but this is what your aunt Lily told me that happened afterwards…

"What was that?" She hissed, he sighed, looking down at his feet.

"Lily honey… I love you… but this is a massive thing… we're having a baby together! I'm just not sure I'm ready to tell them yet… I want to be one hundred percent sure that everything is ok… those tests… I mean they're not one hundred percent accurate, can we wait until your twelve week scan? I just want to be sure…"

"Marshall honey… I completely understand why you're worried… but Ted, Barney, Robin, they are our best friends… I don't know if we can keep this from them…"

"Keep what from who?" Barney slams the front door shut, looking at Marshall and Lily inquisitively, Marshall rolls his eyes.

"We really need to take away their spare keys"

"Keep what from who?"

Lily laughs "Uhh… from you!"

I laugh "Shouldn't have said that!"

"Keep what from me? Keep what from me? Keep what from me?"

Marshall rolls his eyes again "Here we go…"

"Keep what from me? Keep what from me? Keep what from me?"

"Barney, can we please just let this go!" Lily gets up from the sofa and makes her way over to the fridge and takes out some lettuce and begins washing the leaves.

"Oh yeah, sure" He says, he opens the fridge and takes out a can of beer, he then wanders over to the sofa and sits next to Barney.

"Keep what from me? Keep what from me? Keep what from me?"

"Do you _want_ me to gaffa tape your mouth shut?"

"You know what? Fine! I'm leaving"

We sit in silence, Marshall laughs

"Ok I'll see you later Bar…"

"**I said I'm LEAVING!"**

And with that he storms out of the apartment, we all laugh, Marshall turns to look at me.

"No offence to you Ted… you're my best friend and all, but I need to talk to Lily in private…"

"It's cool, I totally get it!" I smile and make my way out and back over to my apartment. I make my way out into the New York streets, I know I said I was cool, I said I got it, but the truth is I didn't, and it really hurt my feelings that they weren't being totally honest with me, I thought that we were better friends than that, I never thought that they would keep a secret from me, especially not a big one, but I wasn't going to tell them that, they were my best friends, and I might have been hurting on the inside, but I wasn't going to let them see it. I look up at the tree's that crowd over above me, the streets are bustling with people, I look at their faces, trying to read what they're thinking from their expressions, but it's useless, I guess people can just hide what they're really feeling, and if they can do it, then so can I… I make my way up the steps to my apartment, twisting my key in the lock and I wander into the apartment, Robin turns to look at, smiling, her face drops when she see's me.

"Wow… Ted… what's wrong? You look really upset! Come on, down to the bar, let me get you a beer"

So much for that theory…

She grabs her bag and takes me by the wrist and leads me down the stair well

I fake smile "Honestly Robin, I'm fine"

"No Ted, no you're not, come on"

She leads me into the bar and we see Barney sat at our usual booth with a scotch, he waves when he sees us come in, signalling for us to come over and join him, we make our way over, and Robin asks Wendy to bring us three beers, we settle down in the booth

"Hiya! Hey look! It's my two _best friends_ in the world! How are you my two _best friends_? How's life in _best Friendsville!_"

"Best Friendsville? Really?" Robin laughs

I roll my eyes "You know Marshall and Lily aren't with us, you don't have to do that"

"You know what" He smiles "I don't care, we're all _best friends_ here!"

Robin laughs "Yeah, Lily's my best friend"

"Yeah Marshall… my best friend" I smiles at him

"And as your _best friend_ I will pay for your beers" Barney grabs a few notes from his wallet and hands them over to Wendy the waitress, she smiles and lays our beers down on the table. "So, if you think that Marshall is your best friend, then please explain to me why he hasn't told you his secret yet?"

I turn to look at Robin, she switches her gaze between Barney and me, confusion in her eyes

"Secret? What secret?"

"See that's just the thing… we don't know…" I sigh, and get up from my seat

"You leaving already?" Robin asks, watching me

"Yeah, I'm going to cave in for the night, have you got your keys?"

"Uhh… no"

"Ok, I'll leave the front door open"

I wave goodbye to them and make my way up to my apartment, the wooden floor boards creek beneath my step, I run my fingers along the beige walls, cool from where no one bothered to paint them, as I let myself into the apartment I'm swarmed by so many memories, the swords of bro-hood, the crack in the coffee table from where we fought with the swords of bro-hood, and the cracked photo frame that we never bothered to fix, I sigh, dropping my keys into the bowl on the cabinet, I look at what else is in there, the keys to the broken fiera that Marshall didn't have the heart to throw away, and the keys to my new house, the family home, the investment in my future, I look around me, as much as I love this place, it's got too many memories… too many ghosts, Stella, Victoria, Trudy, I have loved being here while I turned into an adult, but now I need to start acting like one, and maybe it's time for me to grow up. I plod into my bedroom, changing into my pyjamas, I brush my teeth and clamber in underneath the orange and blue duvet, the same one that I've had ever since I first moved in here… but it's time to let it all go, it's time I moved on… and out…

I wake to a heavy thumping, my head is spinning in the darkness. What time is it? I glance at my clock, and I can just make out the time through the black… it's half two in the morning, the thumping comes again… I can't have a hangover, I didn't drink that much…

"Ted! It's me! Can you open the door?"

I press the palm of my hand to my forehead, I must have forgotten to leave the door unlocked, I clamber out of bed, and make my way over to the door, I pull the bedroom door open and stumble about in the living room for the light switch, I flick it on and then open the door for Robin, she makes her way in, looking a little flustered

"Sorry" I mumble, still half asleep "I must have locked it by accident"

"That's fine" says Robin, she smiles and kisses me quickly on the cheek "I'm turning in, you go back to bed to yeah?"

I smile, laughing half-heartedly "Yep, good night Robin"

She smiles at me kindly "Night Ted"

And with that we separate, I'll tell her that I'm thinking of moving out, maybe in the morning…


	2. Chapter 2

I wake in the early morning to the smell of fresh crepes, a sizzling is coming from the kitchen, I clamber slowly out of bed and stumble out into the kitchen. Robin stands in the kitchen cooking crepes, I smile, she hands me a plate with two crepes on, I smile, she giggles

"Syrup is in the cupboard"

I raise my eyebrows, laughing

"Syrup? Come on Robin, this is crepes, you've got to have chocolate sauce!"

She rolls her eyes "Chocolate sauce? What are you a kid?"

She pours syrup onto hers and passes me the chocolate sauce, we settle down at the dining table and tuck into our crepes, she smiles at me

I take a deep breath, Robin stops… looking at me, her fork stops in mid-air, syrup dribbles onto her plate, she giggles, puts her fork down and then looks at me again

"Are you ok?"

I fake a smile "Totally"

She frowns "No you're not, I know you better than that, so… tell me what's wrong"

I sigh "Listen…"

"Ted! Ted! Ted! Guess what! Guess what!"

I turn around and see Barney hanging his coat up on the hooks, he turns around, his face alight

"What?" I say, finishing off the last of my crepes

"Maybe, Marshall and Lily are secretly planning an all exclusive sex party! And there not inviting you because you're not awesome enough, and they didn't tell me because they didn't want to hurt your feelings"

"No Barney, whatever they want to do is their decision"

He narrows his eyes and frowns at me, then makes his way into the kitchen and helps himself to the two spare crepes left on the side

"Yes Barney" Robin says, her voice monotone "I was totally waiting for you, I was not going to eat those leftover crepes, I wasn't saving them for later"

"Cool" He says, naive as ever.

Now you see kids, you're Aunt Lily, she was currently freaking out, I mean, seriously… freaking out, now I wasn't here for this… but I know this was how she was feeling, I know you're aunt Lily all too well…

"It's ok honey, we'll just take it one step at a time, you're ten weeks, we've got two whole weeks until you appointment and about five until we start telling people…" Your uncle Marshall was doing all he could to comfort her, but it was no use

"Five weeks! I don't know how I'm going to keep this up, will I have to quit my job to look after it? What should we call it? How can we afford to care for a baby? Will it be a boy or a girl? How are we going to get the nursery ready in time? How big will it be? Should we call it Ericson or Aldren? What if the baby has some sort of disorder?"

Marshall stood up and wrapped his arms around Lily

"Baby, you've got to promise me that you won't freak out, this is all we've ever wanted, we knew that we wanted to have a family, and this is our chance to do that, please… please don't back out of it just because you're scared. You think I'm not scared to? Most parents do get scared, but I promise, no matter what happens, we're in this together… ok?"

She smiled a weak smile "Ok"

"Good" he said, and he smiled, and kissed her

And at that moment Robin and I wandered into the room "Hiya guys, what are you talking about?"

Lily smiled "Oh, nothing unusual, just… you know, paint colours, that boring stuff"

Robin runs over to Lily! "Ooh show me what you plan to do then!"

Lily smiles and leads robin off into the kitchen, I smile and make my way over to Marshall, we talk for a little while, inside of me I'm hoping that he's going to tell me what he's keeping secret from me, but no matter how many hints, no matter how close I get, he just won't tell me, I guess it means it's pretty big… eventually Lily and Robin wander back in

"Do either of you two want a coffee?" We all stop, staring at her "Who am I kidding? Who wants beer?" We all sigh of relief and then she chucks us a beer each

"So how's the new apartment?" I ask

Lily smiles "It's great, it makes us feel more adult"

Robin smiles "Got any plans for the second room?"

Lily and Marshall exchange glances, I frown

"Everything ok?"

Marshall smiles "Yeah totally, we're probably just going to make it a guest room or something…"

I nod, cool.

Meanwhile kids, your uncle Barney was having problems of his own. You remember when you were little, he always volunteered to take you laser gaming? Well I think you must have realised by now that he is obsessed with the game, seriously, he was addicted. So, he was out playing laser tag, when suddenly he got a call… from Nora

"Barney? Can we talk?"

"Sure, who is this?"

"It's Nora Barney… Barney?"

"N… Nora… I thought you never wanted to see me again…"

"Yeah well I've had time to think things through… I still think you're a jerk… and I still think you need some counselling… but… maybe you'd like to go for some sushi?"

"S… Sushi?"

"That is what I said!"

"Umm… sure, I'd love to"

"As friends yeah?"

"Umm… yeah… of course…"

He hung up, and later that day, when I went to visit him, I found him burying his head in his hands

"What's up buddy?" I ask, he looked up, there was something behind his eyes, something I'd never seen in Barney before

"Oh… umm… it was just this girl I slept with a couple of nights ago called, god knows how she got my number, wanted me to go back out with her"

I frown "And you said yes? I thought you didn't _do _second dates?"

He looks thoughtful, then smirks "Yeah like I was actually going to turn up!"

He holds his hand up for a hi-five, I roll my eyes but do it anyway, before I get to my feet, making my way over towards the door, he looks up confused

"Hey! Where do you think you going Theodore Moseby?"

"Not my name… umm… I need some more… milk"

He narrows his eyes but nods anyway, I couldn't tell him the truth, that I was going furniture shopping for my new house, I know Barney too well, he'd only go and tell the others, Robin specifically, she's my roommate, I need to be the one to tell her…

That time in my life, it had to be one of the worst times, seriously. It was like our group of friends was breaking apart, people were lying, keeping secrets, and friends should never do that, never. But that was a lesson that I guess I would just have to learn the hard way. I sometimes wander if we had of just been honest with each other, would I even have met your mother? Because I think it was the secrets, that allowed me to meet, her, and as much as they lying hurt, without it, I never would have fallen in love like I did. Everything was a mess, Lily and Marshall were keeping something from all of us, and I had a secret I wanted to keep too, and though I didn't know it yet… so did Barney… and Robin…


End file.
